is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
