Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
