Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
