But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
