During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
