Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
