i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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