I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
