We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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