I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
