Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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