I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
