He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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