Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
