we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize