jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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