Got a toothbrush?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
