How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
