ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize