super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You may now shotgun with the bride
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
