im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
