I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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