dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He? As in you personified your dick?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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