Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
