I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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