it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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