I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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