I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
