Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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