Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
