i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
