You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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