Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
