ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
