bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
