Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
