i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Your penis caused this!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
