Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
