Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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