Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
