This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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