Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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