Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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