careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
