Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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