Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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