I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
