i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
