they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
