I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
