he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
