So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
