Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just want nice things and good sex
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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