was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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