so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
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