are you still at the devil's house?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
