She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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