rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize