why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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