it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just high enough for therapy.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
