That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
