I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize