Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
