The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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