i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
