You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize