So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
