I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
