My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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