You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Mom said you looked used
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
