hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
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