Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
