ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
